And It Comes...

Sometimes when change looms on the horizon, I freeze. This happened to me just before taking summer school last year; despite plans to discipline myself into a routine of reading, writing, and music practicing, I ended up spending two free weeks huddled in my new apartment, unwilling to venture outside.

Now here I am preparing for a year away and I'm dragging out the packing process, looking over each book and listening to favorite old tunes instead of maximizing efficiency. As shoes and winter clothes disappear into shipping boxes, the reality of the unknown life that I will have upon reopening these cartons looms ahead. I don't regret following the Lord's direction to this point, but like a kid stalling for time at a spelling bee by asking for the word's dictionary definition I'm keeping the inevitable back with the feeble tools I have at hand.

So many small doors of face-to-face contact have shut that it's hard to fathom them all. In about 48 hours I will be off the airplane and heading to my hotel, but thankfully Jesus will be present even if those I love cannot. Though the world changes around me, I don't have to pull back in vague fear. Unless, of course, that anxiety concerns a dinner plate of unidentifiable seafood.